taking the passive out of passive-aggressive

Tuesday, August 02, 2005

I'm going to admit this right now and just get it out of the way, okay?

I like TGI Friday's. I really, honestly do.

I know I'm not supposed to like chain restaurants, but it's just one of those things--like the fact that I hate Don DeLillo, eat white bread, and enjoy, without irony, the demolition derby. I think it's clear I've got some redneck blood in me, because one side of me wants to read literary criticism and write poetry, while the other wants to put a sofa out on the back patio and wear a Scrapple tank top. Which I did, also without irony, to the TGI Friday's last night. I guess it's pretty obvious which side is winning.

Anyway, the TGI Friday's was rather amusing, especially for the Bee, who ate nothing but faux-Spanish rice and lettuce. She also marched around the restaurant spying on people while I tried to eat a quesadilla with one hand. The key to the TGI Friday's is that you only order appetizers. And the beauty of the place is that when your child throws her milk on the floor and your other child glares at you sullenly from beneath her cute little blonde eyebrows, the waitress really doesn't seem to mind, other parents and grandparents smile at the cute lil ones, and I don't feel compelled to wipe up all the time. In fact, the perky waitress actually learns your children's names! Which earns her a 25% tip! Sure, by the end of the evening, everyone is covered in sour cream--but who really cares when you can drive home with the baby rockin' out and everyone full of cheese?

And so I proudly proclaim my fondness for the TGI Fridays. Lookit, I won't step foot into Ruby Tuesday's, and I do like me some literary fiction, so I'm not a complete heathen. But hell, when you're toting an insane little monkey and a darkly ironic, perpetually hungry little tween, you have to just give in sometimes.

8 Comments:

At 5:35 PM, Blogger supa said...

nice.

i'm a fan of embracing one's inner redneck, too [cheap-ass domestic beer, pickup trucks, naked children in the yard].

 
At 7:49 PM, Blogger Jennifer said...

Have your tried the Oreo Madness (we used to call it Oreo Psychosis). It is one of the best reasons to go to TGIFridays, and we all have to brace our inner redneck once in awhile.

 
At 5:17 AM, Blogger Neckbone said...

I used to have fires in my yard, and would invariably end up getting drunk and melting beercans in them. Yep- I have an inner streak of white trash a mile wide.

 
At 5:56 AM, Blogger XLT said...

I have a faux-inner Redneck, 'cause there's no way in Hell I'm embracing my inner-Guido.

Ewwwww. He smells like Drakkar and drives an I.R.O.C.-Z!

 
At 6:04 AM, Blogger Kira said...

I don't think you qualify as a redneck unless you eat a Collosal Burger at Ruby Tuesdays. And finish it. Without irony.

 
At 6:41 AM, Blogger trevor said...

i'm with you. i even kinda like the new decor of the place. i mean, i don't really like it. but all in context, i feel they've done a good job of bringing fridays into the 90s. even tougher to deny? that damn little loyalty card they now offer.

 
At 6:51 PM, Blogger Cham said...

I have a gut feeling that no one has every heard of a "quesadilla" in Mexico.

 
At 7:13 PM, Blogger Davey said...

Ok. Dumb Canadian question moment....What the hell is T.G.I. fridays?

Davey

 

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