taking the passive out of passive-aggressive

Thursday, July 28, 2005

The Bee has developed this little beauty queen wave (side to side, you know?) and this little mellifluous way of saying "Hi!" that's somehow breathy and baby-like at the same time. She marches around everywhere saying "Hi!" to strangers, who are ALL charmed, for obvious reasons--I mean, who can resist a little blue-eyed smiling baby grinning at you, giving the beauty-queen wave, and saying "Hi!" as though you're absolutely the most important person in the whole world?

And this is why I know that the Bee is going to be the queen of all flirts. All anyone really wants (and men especially, 'cause men are simpleminded) is to feel really important and loved all the time. Bee's got that down. She makes everyone feel like the center of the universe. For the love of God, that child is charming.


Sure, in her spare time, for fun, she's trying to grab knives and lighters, and mostly biting older children and stealing their binkies. But this funny thing happens--she'll be TOTALLY insufferable for a while, but then decides to turn on the charm--"Hi! Hi!" with the batting eyelashes and all--and everyone falls for it.

I've seen it happen. Adults and children alike will say "That is an insane monkey! Make her stop!" and then she turns on the charm and BOOM. Suddenly they melt. "She's so wonderful!" I'm hoping I manage to quell her more feral urges, but I don't have a lot of hope. I actually think her middle name might actually be "Comeuppance."

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