taking the passive out of passive-aggressive

Friday, June 24, 2005

Odd things about my new home:

1. I had the mistaken impression that my back patio was "private space." Not so! Hillary, my neighbor to the left, drops by unannounced to chat about babies and the use of the communal hose. The landlord shouts to me from his deck: "Hey babe!" (Which seems awfully familiar.) Maybe this is the difference between townhouses and actual houses--no one really expects any privacy outside their four walls.

2. The landscapers landscape A LOT. I mean every day. I've been there a week and my bushes have been mulched twice already. How much mulch do they need, for god's sake? They landscape so much that they accidentally cut the cable line the other day through oversealous pruning--which I only knew because suddenly the wireless line I was squatting on went out, and then my neighbors told me (since, you know, we get to converse a LOT.) Also, they carve the bushes into perfect squares.

3. There appear to be children around, but the children are remarkably silent. Not much shouting or running going on. I'm hoping my little beasts will lively up the place. One thing my children are not is quiet.

4. The pool opens only at mysterious and undisclosed times. Evidently no one knows when those times are. Lifeguards appear and disappear on no apparent schedule. Years ago, a friend of mine lived above the poolhouse of this development, and as I recall no one really used the pool except us, late at night, while drunk.

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