taking the passive out of passive-aggressive

Friday, March 18, 2005

So, I hit the Blogger Happy Hour last Wednesday and felt like a complete loser. I wasn't in a very sociable mood to begin with, having just started my job, which is constant socializing-with-strangers and very draining. And once I was in there, I realized I really didn't have anything to say to a bunch of strangers.

When I got there, Sweetney was lingering by the front door in a very cute hat with ears, nervous to go in. We mustered up our courage and found ourselves at the bar surrounded by a rowdy group of drunken firefighters. Leslie came in soon after, also in a hat--where's my damn hat? I need a hat--and we all headed upstairs with Ben, who swears up and down that his site is not a blog and he just showed up because the Baltimore Crimeblogger invited him.

So there we were, a group of people who conducts a huge part of their relationships online, faced with the prospect of actual socializing, and I ended up struck with social anxiety disorder as bad as any I suffered at middle-school mixers. We eventually made our way downstairs and there weren't really seats for ay of us. Sweetney and Leslie made the best of it, jumping right in and having actual conversations, but at some point soon into the whole thing I realized I just did not have it in me. I'm normally incredibly social--it's actually a job requirement for me--but for some reason this group of people, who all seemed to know each other and didn't seem all that interested in knowing anyone new, totally intimidated me.

I bailed on the whole thing--Sweetney and Leslie, bless 'em, stayed out and I'm glad they did--and headed over to the Crimeblogger's house. She was cleaning out her cabinets so I watched her do that for a while, got a call from XLT to see what my take on the situation was, and headed home for a good night's sleep.

I did learn a few things, though. First of all, I don't do this thing because I want the whole world to read it, or because I want more friends. I have enough friends. If it just so happens that some of them are bloggers, that is merely because we are mostly stealth nerds. Second, the whole "blogosphere" thing is incredibly overrated. Third, I can be really fucking shy sometimes. I've worked my whole life to overcome my shyness and I guess it's still there. And finally, I don't want to go to any more blogging happy hours. If I want to go have a drink, I will call up someone on the phone and meet them for one.

3 Comments:

At 4:23 PM, Blogger dogfaceboy said...

Funny. I don't think I need any more blogger happy hours, either, but mine's for different reasons. I'm too freakin' old. Those could be my children! (OK, not really.) Why, I have lived six lives already! But I have to call you on something. You DO SO blog because you want the world to read it. Sure, writers write because they have to, but they desire, crave, need feedback from others. And that lovely little stat counter you and I have proves that the same people come back for more, time and again. It's a lovely little ego stroke.

As for friends, I think you can never have too many. But I'd be happy to go with you for a beer some time. We can bring the littles to chase each other around. Just give me a few more pounds-er, weeks.

doggy

 
At 10:07 PM, Blogger Amanda Wheeler said...

hats:
http://champion.vendorama.co.nz/shop/accessories/hats/

 
At 10:56 PM, Blogger Joshua Berlow said...

If you want to meet me, you have to make an appointment to get a Tarot Card reading, and it has to be before 3:00 pm.

The cost of a basic Tarot Reading is $15 but if you have a blog I'll knock off five bucks to make it an even $10.

Wal*Mart: Anti-semitic, rascist, sexist, anti-union, trashing the environment bastards with no fashion sense!

 

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