taking the passive out of passive-aggressive

Sunday, January 16, 2005

Some questions raised by the most recent issue of the National Enquirer:

1. What was the feud between Lil John and Usher about, anyway? I knew of no feud! So cryptic.
2. What is the true nature of Siegfried and Roy's relationship? Why is Siegfried so tender with Roy, propping him up like a corpse in a mortuary as they frolic in the sun? And who is that dude in the glasses, always hanging out in the corner of every shot? Is it possible those boys have gotten mixed up with a bad crowd?
3. Hypothesis: Kevin Federline and his babymama are on the make, conning poor innocent Britney out of her hard-won millions.
4. Um, Jennifer or Angelina? Dude. Angelina wears her boyfriends' blood in an amulet around her neck. She fucked Billy Bob. Come on now.
5. Have you seen a picture of the "Fetus-Snatching Murder Mom"? How can it be that no one saw it coming? The woman looks like Kathy Bates at the end of Misery, only worse.
6. Why do all movie stars seem to come from families populated entirely by fat, scheming rednecks? Oh, never mind.


At 7:18 AM, Blogger The Cybrarian said...

1. I don't know, but they're both from Atlanta and probably run in different "crews" so it's very likely that at some point their "posses" had some kind of interaction. But if it doesn't mention a specific incident it's probably made up.
2. Gay or european? Or maybe like Michael Jackson, they're pedophiles in plain view!
3. Uhm I beleive that was my hypothesis.
4. Amulets=hot
5. If your wife has a dough face, wears too-large glasses and talks about having a baby a lot, or about killing babies, seek help immediately.


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