taking the passive out of passive-aggressive

Saturday, January 15, 2005

Ahem. Sorry to be cryptic. Back to our regularly scheduled programming, which today involves me (futilely) trying to teach myself to knit by researching it online. I think I figured out how to cast on, but making the actual stitches is beyond me. My 7-year-old, when she's trying to teach me, always gives up after ten minutes with an exasperated sigh. "Mom! It's really SIMPLE, why can't you get it?"

I was going to surprise her with my knitting skillz when she arrives home today, but I guess that's out of the question. The diagrams and instructions all seem kind of in-the-know, as though they're eliding some very important in-between step, or directed to people who already know how to knit. Why that would be, I've no idea. In any case, the diagrams all show complicated loop-de-loops and read like this: "Holding the long side between your thumb and left forefinger, hold the right needle with your left hand, making a loop around your thumb, and pulling the stitch through the loop with the other needle, while holding this needle completely still. Now, repeat 300 times."

You know, there's a whole universe of knowledge out there and I barely use it. I could spend my spare time teaching myself ANYTHING online. I could learn Italian, or how to tie a bowtie, or the lyrics to every song written between 2001 and now. I could educate myself on fine wine, or expand my vocabulary; learn more about geography or string theory. And yet what do I do with this huge wealth of knowledge at my fingertips? I gossip over IM and blog about why I can't knit.


At 9:15 PM, Blogger tiff said...

I don't know you but I feel your pain. Those books show me NOTHING. I just had to sit directly next to a girl at work and imitate her every move. Although, some really helpful direction (written in mostly layman's English) were at the Learn To Knit forum at www.learntoknit.com (but of course). I finished my first scarf, yay!

Good Luck to ya!


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