taking the passive out of passive-aggressive

Thursday, December 16, 2004

Ugh, I hate baby boomers. My whole life I've been hounded by these narcissists' latest trends and demographics--as though a whole generation of people, just by virtue of being born around the same time, could even be said to share any qualities whatsoever. After 30 years I am quite exhausted by it. "Oh look!" says the media. "The baby boomers are wearing power suits with ugly giant bow ties! (Woodstock) Now they're having fertility treatments! (Woodstock) Wow, look how the hippies turned into yuppies and started voting for Reagan! (Woodstock!) Hey--now they're sucking the life out of Social Security! WOODSTOCK!"

While I understand that all this fawning is driven mostly by lazy reporters recycling their advertising departments' market research, it still gets under my skin. First of all, I don't care about Woodstock, the day Kennedy died (or pretty much anything else about the Kennedys), peace love and understanding, Haight-Ashbury, or Vietnam. Well, maybe Vietnam a little bit, because that was an actual war, so it falls under the category of Histroy You Should Know About. But all that cultural shit was such a blip in the radar, such a tiny bump in the road of America's headlong dive back into Puritanism, that to focus on it constantly is just idiotic. Who CARES how many people you slept with in 1967? You thought you were changing the world by being a dumb-ass slut? Okay, whatever! Yeah, the world really changed! Where's your little sit-in NOW, hippie?

And besides, most of their music plain old sucked.

I keep thinking that at some point, once these assholes retire from the management positions they clawed their way into at large news organizations, this shit will stop, but I am beginning to suspect that will never happen. They will freeze their brains in jars, so they can forever relive the moment at which the world turned around and looked at them with wonder. As though their infantile idealism actually matters, as though their youth was the most important era in history. As though the navel-gazing, consumerist, depleted world they built for us is actually a place we want to live.


At 6:14 PM, Blogger The Cybrarian said...

What I hate is the publication of note for "boomers": Rolling Stone magazine. Which assumes in the most pompous possible way that what 50-something white guys like (the Beatles, Bob Dylan, the Rolling Stones, "the Floyd") and grew up with is now the cultural canon. I wish they'd stop pretending like it's a music magazine. Hey you just inspired me to write a review on amazon.com:

"... if you're a 50-something Blue state white man, this is the magazine for you. If you think Bob Dylan is the most important artist of all time, Hunter S. Thomspon is the best writer, percussive-heavy music gives you a headache and sampling confuses you, and a half-naked Paris Hilton or Simpson sister turns you on, this magazine understands you perfectly. Otherwise it's like hanging out with your dad's friends who're trying to convince you they're still cool. I wish my subscription would hurry up and lapse already!"


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