taking the passive out of passive-aggressive

Friday, December 17, 2004

And so the fish drama continues.

At work, our creative director took care of the office fish, Bubba and Sprout, left over from a photo shoot. But alas, he left, and on his way out he told my office mate: "The fish are yours now." For a few days she dutifully fed them, but soon enough their bowl was cloudy, and I cleaned it. The next day, their bowl was cloudy again, so she cleaned it. By this morning, the fish were in a pathetic state, gasping for air at the surface, barely visible in their murky yellow water.

I came in early and tried to ignore them. I could tell they were distressed but I didn't know what to do. When everyone else came in, they expressed shock and dismay. "Look at Bubba and Sprout!" my officemate exclaimed. "They can't breathe!"

I consulted the bosses. They sighed. "We can't let them die," they said, "that would be horrible!" So off I went with the Amex to Petsmart (secretly glad that my bosses didn't want me to flush 'em, but dismayed at having to go through this fish drama again.)

At Petsmart, I met Jen, the resident fish expert, and explained my predicament. Jen was peculiar. She looked about twenty, but very pasty. When I came in with my cart she immediately commandeered it, saying, "We'll need this." She talked a mile a minute but didn't make a lot of sense, and kept telling me that she had a terrible cold, so as she picked out aquariums and little plants and gravel, I kept backing away from her, wondering if I had my hand sanitizer in my purse. She seemed to know a lot about goldfish but, at the same time, also seemed to have a short-term memory problem. When we got to the aquariums, I said, does it need to be heated? and she replied, "What? Heated? What kind of fish again?" I had told her goldfish three times in five miutes and she was picking out a goldfish starter kit off the shelves when she said it.

In any case, I got all the stuff back to the office and my roomie and I proceeded to fill the aquarium with teacups for about an hour, and so now Bubba and Sprout have a beautiful new luxurious home and don't have to live in the low-rent district any more.

However, the fact that I have two sets of fish to worry about is somehow very distressing.


At 1:13 PM, Blogger The Cybrarian said...

have you noticed they get serious weirdos at the fish dept. at Petsmart? The guy who sold me my last snail looked like a total child molester... but he did know a lot about fish.


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