taking the passive out of passive-aggressive

Wednesday, October 20, 2004

What I want:

1. My children to stop whining. They can get almost anything out of me as long as they don't ask in that annoying whiny voice.

2. To be one of the cutest girls on the street again. Ever since that Carolyn Bessette clone moved in, the rest of us housewives feel a little bit wilted.

3. To be able to recognize fashionable shoes when I see them. I see these shoes and I'm all, who the fuck would wear that? And then I find out that I'm fashion-backwards and I'll be wearing them too, but way too late to be cool.

4. Maintain the three-beer buzz all night.

5. Find out exactly what other people are thinking. Is it really "mmm... whopper value meal... sex with hottie.... mmmm..... lampshades"--or is that just me?


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