taking the passive out of passive-aggressive

Saturday, October 23, 2004

I'll be running the Army 10-Miler tomorrow, along with a bunch of jarheads and other assorted military types, as well as dwarves, the handicapped, and small children. All of the above will pass me within 2 miles, and I'm sure I'll be wandering along behind, doing 15-minute miles while messing with my Pod. ("I simply have to find that White Stripes song or I'll never make it past five miles.")

My sister tells me that at mile 2, there is a clump of bushes where lots of people suddenly feel the need to stop and poop. Now, I don't understand this. Presumably most of these people are experienced runners, and mile 2 happens for them each and every day. Do they have to poop at mile 2 on their normal run? Also, who the hell poops in public? That's just gross.

At mile six or seven, the vomiting begins. This I can sympathize with a little more. It's not as humiliating and besides, running hard for long distances does tend to make one's tummy a little bit upset. But when I see other people throw up, I get really sick too, so I'm going to try and avert my eyes.

Oh yeah, and it turns out? I was supposed to be drinking 75 oz. of water a day, all week. Oh well, maybe I got that much water out of my beers.

I'll post my time tomorrow (provided I can manage to sit upright). I'm aiming for under 2 hours.

All I know is I'm gonna have a helluva hankering for a cigarette by mile 8.

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