taking the passive out of passive-aggressive

Thursday, May 08, 2003

My friend Marcie found these bones in her babydaddy's back yard. She claimed they were a radius and ulna, and they looked human, but demanded I come over for a look. So the other night I go over there and Sean's left the bones for me wrapped up in this big hefty bag on the porch. It was very serial-murder-esque. I go up on the porch and open the bag, and the bones are bumping around on this little metal table, and I suddenly realize I have no gloves and can you get diseases from bones?

Sean tried to go to the Hampden cops but the cop he finally found was profoundly unconcerned: "Oh, yeah," he says, when Sean tells him about the bones, "there's this guy back behind your house, he slaughters animals all the time." Slaughters animals? all the time?

So I open up the bag and actually, it's not arm bones, it's leg bones--a tibia and fibula, maybe 75% as big as an adult human, but who can tell? Is it a child's shinbone, or a pig or a dog? I don't know enough to tell. I go in and he says "so will you take them away?" and I said, "No. Can I wash my hands?" After a thorough scrubbing, he says he's going to the cops again. Great, with my fingerprints all over these things.

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