taking the passive out of passive-aggressive

Thursday, January 09, 2003

I like to say I'm "credulous", but my husband tells me the word for me is actually "gullible". I find it appalling that I'm gullible. But it's true, I'll believe anything. When people say things like "Oh, yeah, Michael Jackson's nose is falling off because he has a flesh-eating virus given to him by Saddam Hussein" I say "Really?" It's not just a verbal tic, I'm really interested and want to know more. Of course none of it is true, which I don't find out til someone says, "Yeah, really, Claire. C'mon." I do appreciate that my friends don't take unfair advantage of my, ahem, credulity.

This is why I must restrict myself only to reputable news sources. When I go online randomly I find myself completely believing all kinds of crap, like:

"Is Hitler's NEW WORLD ORDER the same as Bush's? YES!!" I have to admit, I thought all insane right-wing fundamentalist crackpot Christian ministers were pro-Bush! I can halfway believe this stuff just because they dislike El Presidente as much as I do.

"It always kinda nice to know that where ever you are, you can get a taste of home delivered right to your door step." Scrapple really is good-- and good for you, too. (Well, I was predisposed to believe that one.)

Libertarians are such optimists, it's really hard not to go along with their point of view. I mean, I can't do anything about global warming, so wouldn't it be better to pretend it doesn't exist?

OK, OK. I'm starting to see a pattern here. My credulity favors things I want. If Michael Jackson had a flesh-eating disease, or George Bush was the Devil, or Scrapple was good for you, or there was no global warming... all of those would be satisfying plot twists. And good narrative makes for good living.


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